{"id":463,"date":"2009-05-19T23:54:49","date_gmt":"2009-05-20T03:54:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wormholeriders.com\/blog\/?p=463"},"modified":"2010-03-05T14:48:44","modified_gmt":"2010-03-05T18:48:44","slug":"dan-shea-the-king-of-randomness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wormholeriders.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/19\/dan-shea-the-king-of-randomness\/","title":{"rendered":"Dan Shea: The King of Randomness"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\"2009-Stargate<\/a><\/p>\n

I declare Dan Shea to be the King of Randomness. My notes are so crazy, I\u2019m not sure if any of this is going to make any sense! Dan has a hard time staying on topic. He gets distracted, he talks very fast, he has a bit of a lisp, and he rambles. Of course, that\u2019s part of what makes him so entertaining, but you can\u2019t keep up with his train of thought! At least I couldn\u2019t! I\u2019ll give you everything I have, though, and you\u2019ll see exactly what I mean!<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan started out by showing us his cool new shoes and his new haircut. Dan pulled off a shoe and held it up to show it off. Someone near the front must have said \u201cThey\u2019re big\u201d because Dan turned to them and said, \u2018What do you mean, \u2018they\u2019re big\u2019? What\u2019s your point? I\u2019ve got big gloves too, so what are you getting at?\u201d After asking how everyone is doing, Dan said, \u201cI\u2019ve got the new do. (Puts a hand on his head) What do you think of the new do? [Applause from the fans] \u201cI\u2019m doing this show called Mortacci [I can\u2019t find it on IMDB yet, FYI]. I was supposed to work tonight. I play a zombie, and they shaved my head for the zombie. I\u2019ll show you a picture \u2013 you can all see my camera inside my phone, right? (Pulls out what looked like a Blackberry, then rolls his eyes at our inability to see) But it\u2019s kinda cool, and kind of freaky too, because you do the five hour special effects makeup. So you sit there (pretends to sit down) and they keep putting the stuff on you (uses his hands to show us where it goes on and how thick). Then they glue it to your lip, they put the glue on the inside of your lip. Then they do the upper part of your lip. And then they put on the eye lids, and it just keeps getting thicker and thicker until it seams like your inside some black tunnel. And you have the two little straws sticking out of your nose, and that\u2019s kind of fun. After you put all this stuff on you get these contact lenses in your eyes and you\u2019re totally blind. Which is fun because they\u2019re these white lenses and when the light shines on them you can\u2019t see a thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo the gag for me is going to be in the back seat of a Hummer. Ah \u2013 I was going to say not getting one, but hey! \u2013 but the back seat of a Hummer, sitting there, and it\u2019s at night. I\u2019m Pa Buckner with a scythe \u2013you know those scythes they used to have because we\u2019re from like 1910, we got killed in 1910 \u2013 and we\u2019ve been underground and we kind of come out of the ground (bends over and straightens back up) and somehow I wind up in the back of a Hummer. And they drive the Hummer into the water, and then we pick it up inside a wave pool <\/span>where I\u2019m in the back seat of the Hummer and all the sudden the water comes up. So the doors are closed, the windows are up, and the thing is slowly filling up with water, and I\u2019m in <\/span>the back seat of the hummer with my scythe. And I\u2019ve got my upper and lower fangs in (sticks his fingers in his mouth to show us where they are and how they\u2019re keeping his mouth open) so my teeth are kind of jammed up like this. I am assuming that we\u2019re going to go under the water, and I guess they\u2019re going to give me the regulator to breath, but of course the regulator can\u2019t fit in my mouth because I\u2019ve got the big teeth in there! We haven\u2019t done it yet, so they said to me, \u2018you\u2019re ok with that?\u2019 (Looks at us like, \u2018what kind of stupid question is that?\u2019) So I\u2019m thinking, first of all I\u2019m blind, so close your eyes now. Everyone close your eyes. [Sorry Dan, I cheated!] You can\u2019t see a thing. You\u2019re in the back seat of the car. Now here comes the water (uses a trembling hand to show us where the water level is \u2013 mind that we can\u2019t see what he\u2019s doing because he told us to close our eyes!) and you feel the water on you. Now all the sudden it\u2019s up (he shows the water being up to his chin), \u2018I guess I should start holding my breath now\u2019. Course if you closed your eyes you can\u2019t see that I\u2019m holding my hand here. Which kind of defeats the whole purpose, but let me do it visually. The water\u2019s at my chin now, so I hold my breath, and I\u2019m assuming I\u2019ve got the regulator, (grabs pretend regulator tube and makes a sucking sound as he breaths in and out heavily) and a little pony tube which has air for like seven minutes. <\/span>And I\u2019ve already totally sucked it dry. And then my the time they call \u2018action\u2019 I\u2019m gonna have drowned. So, ah, it\u2019s going to be fun. But then I\u2019m assuming, that on \u2018action\u2019 I\u2019ll take the reg, put it beneath the seat, and then I\u2019ll start killing people! (Makes slashing motions with his arm, using the scythe. An of course I won\u2019t be able to see anything, so I won\u2019t know where to go, so I\u2019ll be killing the dashboard, and killing the guy, and smacking people in the head. And then it\u2019ll be, \u2018I CAN\u2019t BREATH ANYMORE! I\u2019m out of breath!\u2019 So then it\u2019s like this (eyes closed, waves an arm around) trying to feel for my regulator underneath the seat. Of course I\u2019ve got the big long fingers with the big long nails that you couldn\u2019t even pick up a microphone with if you had it. And finally if I do get it, I won\u2019t be able to jam it in my mouth because the thing is full of these huge fangs. And they said, \u2018you\u2019re ok with that?\u2019 I said, \u2018oh sure, not a problem\u2019.” <\/span><\/p>\n

Dan tried to take a question and got sidetracked by where the fan came from. He pulled off his shoe to use as a map of the region, and said, \u201cWhich way is it facing? [\u201cThat way!\u201d] So you\u2019re from the inner arch.\u201d The young gentleman says, \u201cI\u2019m actually from the little black bit sticking out\u201d, referring to the heal tab. We call laugh as Dan looks discouraged. \u201cI hate it when the audience is funnier than I am. \u2018Little black bit on the shoe\u2019. I\u2019m going to use that for the Cabaret tonight. I will have forgotten by then. Question!\u201d <\/span>\u2018Two friends of mine brought you something, and then chickened out. They asked me to give you something. They\u2019re wondering if you could show us a few-\u201c \u201cTake my clothes off?\u201d [Dan! Stay on topic!] The guy continues unfazed \u2013 good for him! \u2013 \u201cShow us a few stunt moves using this prop\u201d. \u201cIs it ok for kids?\u201d \u201cYes\u201d. Dan is given a paper bag, and he pulls out one of those Velcro kid\u2019s costume hoods. This one happens to be for a yellow rabbit suit! Dan barely hesitates before pulling it on his head, but it\u2019s too small to fasten! \u201cHow\u2019s the indignity going?\u201d He wonders around, pulls it off, flops it around in his hand, and says, \u201cThat\u2019s pretty much all you can do with that, right there.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Dan then goes from how Velcro will dig into you on a costume to saying, \u201cspeaking of forearms, what do you think of these pipes?\u201d He pulls up the sleeve on his short sleeve shirt and flexes his arm to show us the muscles. \u201cAre they bigger than Dan Payne\u2019s? [Fans go . . . um . . . no . . . ] Remember Dan Payne? Super Soldier? He got killed last night, they threw him off a dock. He in fact killed me like 40 decades ago in this thing. He\u2019s the guy who\u2019s responsible for slicing my head. So Dan and Dan are still together, it\u2019s all good. (Dan notices a fan in the front who apparently looks sad) No, it\u2019s not real! You\u2019ve got this kind of a (looks down with his eyes closed, trying to imitate the look on the fan\u2019s face). It\u2019s just all fake.\u201d The fan apparently says to him that he\/she is mentally yelling at her camera, which is probably misbehaving. \u201cYelling at the camera in your mind. Ok. Just talk amongst yourselves there, you and all the people inside your mind. (Pulls out his phone, looks at something on it, perhaps the time) I wish you luck.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll come to appreciate how Dan told this story if I leave it all in one paragraph. I swear, none of it is made up. Dan said it all. I actually shortened this a little bit!<\/span><\/p>\n

First, this poor guy comes up dressed all in denim, and Dan picks on him because his shirt and his pants are close in color and he should wear a darker top to anchor the outfit. Then when Dan finally cuts that out, the guy asks a simple question that has some problematic wording for Dan. Can you tell us about and vehicular stunt exploits you have done?<\/em>\u201cExploits? What are you, a smart @$$? You\u2019ve got one if those university expecations or what? What\u2019s the square root of 49? (After a second, someone else in the seats says seven) Seven. <\/span>See, you didn\u2019t know that. We did a cool vehicular \u2013 what?! (Has to go back to hear the question again) There were three words in there. Oh, stunt! Too many blows to the head, no helmet.\u201d We did a cool thing on Fantastic Four. Silver Surfer \u2013 if you\u2019ve ever seen the beginning, I think in the teaser \u2013 Silver Surfer is going through a tunnel and he\u2019s chasing Johnny Storm, the Torch. Or maybe it wasn\u2019t the beginning. [A fan shouts, \u2018It\u2019s in the middle!\u2019] It\u2019s in the middle? Well, does anyone give a rat\u2019s @$$? I\u2019m trying to set up the feel! I\u2019m getting there! (Puts on a mock pensive look, with a finger on his cheek) You know, I think it was at the 54 minute mark, actually. No! I know for sure it was in the tease because they have to introduce the main character early. What\u2019s the point of introducing them later on? It doesn\u2019t make any sense! It\u2019s not half way through. (Dan stops, and seems to have completely lost where he was going with that) Ok, here we are! We just finished working on Stargate that day. You know we have ratchet polls and hand polls and stuff. You know when you get blasted with something you kind of fly back like this? How many of you people think that we actually jump ourselves and defy gravity in slow motion and go against the wall? Hands up! [A few brave souls stick up their hands] I\u2019ve got some raffle tickets on my cell. I left the book at home, left my pen, just gimme the cash and I\u2019ll fill it in later on. Trust me. It\u2019s for a really really good cause! . . . So that day, I\u2019d just done the a . . . [a name that I\u2019m not sure I heard correctly, so I\u2019m not going to put it because I don\u2019t want to get Dan \u2013 or myself \u2013 into trouble!] was drinking that episode, it was the second to the last episode of the tenth season, and I was doubling some dude, I forget his name, he was in a room \u2013 I\u2019m getting to it, where\u2019s that dude? He\u2019s off doing a Marlboro commercial. Cuz the other guy just dies from lung cancer so this guy can take his spot. Ah. Lung cancer, that\u2019s a funny bit, but anyways! So here we are, so with ratchets the cool thing is this angle is good (shows us about a 45 degree angle with his arm) for ratchets because first of all you put on a harness underneath your wardrobe. <\/span>And they bring in some teamster and he cranks it really really tight because you want no flexibility at all. You don\u2019t want the wire to go, and the, the \u2013 what did I just say? \u2013 the vest! Jerk harness, jerk vest, to go and then rip out your ribs. Everything has to be pulling tight like this (strains his voice, pretending he\u2019s got the harness on), so you can\u2019t breathe, and then of course it\u2019s time for lunch. And then when they get back from lunch you\u2019re all here, and it\u2019s all Velcro. Remember the Velcro bit from earlier? We\u2019re pitching this all off. That\u2019s the reason you brought the ears, so I could get in the Velcro reference. That\u2019s the only reason for any of it. So then, so what you want is pit point (points to the middle of his back), up to the big point (points to the ceiling at a 45 degree angle), down to the ratchet. Now the ratchet can come and be square with where you sand and then BOOM! (Pretends to pull the ratchet lever) Slams you like that. Or it can be <\/span>the 6\u20195\u201d, 245 lb. really mean Asian guy jumping off a ladder. So this time we\u2019ve got this guy, Daryl Quan, and he\u2019s so great, he loves to leave a little bit of slack in the rope. Just so he can snap your @$$ and you get the old c6 coming back (puts a hand at the back of his neck and bends his neck back and down into his shoulders), and it\u2019s the white flash (waves a hand over his eyes). Then you\u2019re kind of going like this: \u2018Are my finger\u2019s moving?\u2019 (Stays with his head pinned back, with an arm at his side, moving his fingers) On my left hand? <\/span>So his thing is \u2013 (notices someone standing at the mic at the side of the stage) oh I\u2019m sorry, you had a question? I\u2019m getting to it! Get off my back! Man! Daggers! I feel these daggers (puts a hand on his back)! [The fan tries to leave, but Dan coaxes him back] I get too carried away. So on the day, we had the bed here (shows it in the middle of the stage), Will was the director, we had beds here, we put the cable point there (points to the ceiling at an angle) and then down to Daryl (on stage right), and it will be great. So of course we get there- (sees a fan waiting at the other mic) OK I\u2019m going to get there! I\u2019m getting to the question! Let me answer denim dude\u2019s question! <\/span>– So the bed wound up being here (indicates far stage left). So instead of being ratcheted from here (center stage) to there (stage right), I\u2019m being ratcheted from here (stage left) to there (stage right). Now what you want to do ordinarily is do the whole re-rig, and take the [cable point], put it up there (closer to stage left) so the angle is nice and you get the nice arch and slam into the wall, it looks cool. Problem is I\u2019m on the Fantastic Four, which is the vehicular stunt exploit, so I\u2019ve got to the exploits. So I\u2019m going, \u2018No, this is gonna hurt\u201d. It\u2019s just like being slammed down BOOM! (shows us how using his arm first vertical then BOOM horizontal. It looked like it would hurt.) Cranium, skull, grey matter, all over the floor there. <\/span>So I get an extra back pad, and I get a cup because even though I\u2019m going to be getting hit on the back it\u2019s going to hurt so much I\u2019ve got the like huge gold ten commercial size cup on there, cuz I know everything\u2019s gonna hurt. Don\u2019t ask me why. It\u2019s like JFK. He was shot from behind, but his head went booofff (slams his head backwards). <\/span>(Sarcastically) Yeah, right. The fact that he want boom <\/em>like this (slams head forward) and then he want boom (slams head backward) like that, doesn\u2019t mean there was anyone there (points in front of him) it all come from back there (points behind). Right? So we swallowed that, that\u2019s great. And the mafia keeps killing people, that\u2019s great. No that I have anything against the mafia! We\u2019re all decent god-fearing country-folk. So here I am. I want to do this once and once only. So I look at 6\u20195\u201d 240 Daryl Quan, and I\u2019m thinking (Grits his teeth, looks over that Daryl, grimaces) \u201cHow\u2019re you doing [the word sounded like \u2018pusskit\u2019, whatever that is!] Is that all you\u2019ve got? Yeah, I\u2019ve heard of that big rope snap thing, Psh, rope snap my @$$.\u201d And all of a sudden he\u2019s like in rage, he\u2019s like (goes into some sort of fighting stance and roars!) Instead of being on the second rung of the ladder, he says, \u2018no, get me one of those real high one\u2019, so he was up to here (points about as high up as he can reach), and he just jumps off that thing. It\u2019s like slow motion. <\/span>(Roars again and jumps off the ladder) All the way down, and snaps it, and I went back like a little cat on linoleum, just trying to keep my feet on the ground. BOOM! Into the wall, and my sorry @$$ went down and all I remember was my leg kinda twitching like that (shows us his right leg shaking). And I was thinking \u2018I\u2019ve got to get to the vehicular stunt exploit for the denim dude with the not top anchor\u2019. So I\u2019m signing out, their they\u2019re saying, \u2018are you sure you\u2019re ok to go?\u2019 and I\u2019m like, (wobbling on shaky legs, leaning back and forth) \u2018hey man, I\u2019m the safety dude, so I\u2019ll tell you what\u2019s ok, alright? If I say it\u2019s safe, it\u2019s safe, ok?\u2019 So I\u2019m driving home and I\u2019m banging the pedestrians and the pets, may God forgive me. I phone them from home so they see it\u2019s my home number, \u2018yes I\u2019m safe and I\u2019m home, (slams down the phone) Boom! Now I get in my car and drive really really fast back to where I started to the Cassiar tunnel [I have no idea how that\u2019s spelled!] for the Fantastic Four for the vehicular exploit stunt gag. For denim dude. I\u2019ve got 14 ice packs up and down my back. I\u2019ve got 10,000 Coke Classics to keep awake. And I\u2019m sitting in the car just kind of freezing like this (pretends to be in his car holding the wheel, shivering) ready to do the car gag, because they said, \u2018if anyone falls asleep, you\u2019re fired.\u2019 It makes sense. There\u2019s a hundred cars inside this tunnel, there\u2019s Hummers, there\u2019s race cars, I don\u2019t want to get to specific on you. They\u2019re cars. And there\u2019s buses and everything else. And we\u2019re sitting there, and they\u2019re like \u2018action!\u2019 and I was like (makes a sound like a gunned engine) and I was going and all of a sudden you hear (makes sounds like cars breaking hard). One dude had fallen asleep and he\u2019s sitting at the wheel like this (slumps on the wheel, dead to the world). <\/span>And cars are sliding and stopping, trying to get around this guy, and so he had his @$$ so fired. <\/span>So the rest of us knew we couldn\u2019t fall asleep, so I worked all day, totally in pain, I\u2019ve got my Classics, I\u2019m just pumping \u2018em and I\u2019m ready to go, try not to fall asleep, and all of a sudden we all have to go to the bathroom. We all have to pee, so we get out of the cars, we run down the tunnel for one little [couldn\u2019t catch the word, but I\u2019m sure it\u2019s synonymous with Port-O-Let], and there\u2019s this 400 lb. teamster in there. He\u2019s been there for like an hour and a half. <\/span>And he\u2019s been sitting in there like this (pretends to be sitting on a <\/span>. . . well, you get the picture!) and it\u2019s like you can\u2019t even go in there, because, why? (Points at some poor shmuck in the front row) Why can\u2019t you go in there? (The fan guesses correctly) Can\u2019t breathe! Right! Does he have like a regulator with fangs? No, de doesn\u2019t have that! I <\/em><\/strong>have that, because I\u2019m going to be under the water, and I\u2019m going to be so dead! <\/em><\/strong>Anyway . . . When you\u2019re drowning to make people think you\u2019re going to die you kind of just float around, but my memory of drowning is (holds his nose, panics to breath and gasps) \u2018Can\u2019t breathe!\u2019 So anyway, . . . That\u2019s before you die! Like I\u2019ve got water in my mouth, it seems like I\u2019m dying, <\/span>and then there\u2019s nothing. You\u2019ve got like a whole minute and a half to go before you die. <\/span>It fills up your lungs and it comes out your nose, and it\u2019s just oh my God. <\/span>There\u2019s easier ways to die, but that\u2019s too easy. Take each day one at a time. So here we are, teamster is done, and they\u2019re like \u2018(covers the mic so it sounds like he\u2019s using a megaphone) Get back in the cars, get back in the cars! We\u2019re ready to roll!\u2019 So we\u2019re running and cell phones are flying everywhere (apparently, his was slipping from his pocket so he tosses it and puts it back). <\/span>We get back in the cars and coordinator dude \u2013 (sees someone, maybe the denim dude) I\u2019m getting there! I\u2019m getting to the vehicular thing! \u2013 and ah (a woman walks past on the way to her seat) Hey, how\u2019re you doing? <\/span>You sure? Everything\u2019s good? Ah so, right, here we are. It\u2019s like 2 in the morning, and of course no one got to go to the bathroom so everyone\u2019s peeing all over the place. <\/span>This is the Cassiar tunnel, the only entrance to get into Vancouver, with maybe 10,000 vehicles coming through there in an hour for rush hour, and we\u2019re trying to get this thing done. So here we are ready to go. I\u2019m driving along, and I\u2019m trying to stay awake, and I roll down the window, (pretends to be sticking his head out the window) and I get a little bit of a breeze on my face. (Indicates with his hand that there\u2019s something more than air hitting his face) \u2018That feels pretty good, I like that. It\u2019s not raining . . . How can it be raining in a tunnel?! (Ducks back into his car) No way! How is it raining inside the tunnel? How?\u2019 Trying to stay awake, (puts his head back out the window) there\u2019s a little bit of a mist. Fall asleep in the car, get fired, kids don\u2019t go to university. I take the mist. So that\u2019s kind of a car thing cuz it was in a car. It look like an hour to get there cuz I did the Daryl Quan thing. So I did the car thing. That was the car thing. I guess we got a little bit of mist on the face, but I could have just said that an hour ago, I suppose.\u201d <\/span>All hail the King of Randomness! <\/span><\/p>\n

Dan has been coordinating some of the stunt work for USA\u2019s Psych. Dan was asked, What\u2019s the difference between doing stunts for a scifi show like Stargate versus a non-scifi oriented show like Psych. <\/em>I remembered seeing at least part of an episode that Dan talks about here, and I\u2019m ashamed with myself that I didn\u2019t know Dan was involved! \u201cStargate tended to be bigger because we had six man ratchets going 1,000 feet in the air, and we had people getting blown up everywhere. Psych tended not to be big, but we did have some fairly big ones last year. We had a motorcycle gag where the stunt guy mounts the ramp and almost kills himself because we didn\u2019t figure out what the hell we were doing. But we laugh about it now. <\/span>But we did a fire gag. There\u2019s a new fire retardant gel invented by a dude from Vancouver, and you actually put it on your skin, and you can actually light yourself on fire. Usually the way you do a fire gag is you put some dry [a word I didn\u2019t recognize and couldn\u2019t make out] underneath (indicates on his legs), and then you have some wet [same word] that\u2019s been in your freezer all night with the fire retardant gel, and you put that on. And then you start shaking , and you put a dry layer on, <\/span>maybe put a big huge racing suit on top of that, and then you put on your wardrobe. And then you\u2019re freezing because you\u2019ve got this freezing thing right against your skin. This new invention, you don\u2019t have to do that. You put it right on your skin. One of the stars of stars of Psych is Dule Hill, and my boy Gasta [? He\u2019s not listed on IMDB!] was doubling him, and we told him ahead of time, \u2018we\u2019re going to do this burn, where the guy runs and he\u2019s on fire, he\u2019s a firebug, and you have to run in with a huge blanket that\u2019s fire retardant and wrap it around the guy and you put him out. But Dule, if you don\u2019t mind, keep your selves long and maybe a jacket so we can protect our stunt guy.\u2019 Of course I show up on the day, <\/span>and I see Dule over in a corner doing arm curls like this (demonstrates for us), and he\u2019s wearing a tank top. I\u2019m saying, \u2018Hey Dule, you know we\u2019re going to do the burn today,\u2019 he says, \u2018Yeah, what do you think of my guns? (does some more arm curls)\u2019 \u2018The guns look good. Are we going to be covering up the guns for the scene? Because we\u2019re doing a burn<\/em>? We\u2019re actually burning skin?\u2019 He\u2019s like, \u2018oh sorry man. We\u2019ve established the tank top because I\u2019m doing my arm curls and I have these big pipes now. Is that ok?\u2019 (Dan gives us an annoyed look as a response to Dule\u2019s dumb question.) Well, they claim you can actually do it right on skin, but we\u2019ve never actually done it before. So here we are, the burn guy has like 10,000 layers of stuff and a fire hat because he\u2019s an actual fire man, so he\u2019s protected. But now we\u2019ve got our guy Gasta, and we\u2019re all set to roll and he says, \u2018well where\u2019s my fire blanket at least?\u2019 So they come in with this little (shows a circle with is fingers, about the size of quarter), it\u2019s barely a washcloth. His arm is totally exposed, covered in gel that we don\u2019t know is going to protect him at all, someone told me it was supposed to, but I\u2019m<\/em> not doing it, so whatever. Safe enough! And it\u2019s like, (looking at the explosion that results in the man being on fire) whoa (apparently the explosion was a lot bigger than planned). <\/span>And so, \u2018Gas, get in there, Gas. You\u2019re not going to get paid!\u2019 \u2018Ok here we go!\u2019 So Gas jumped in and put him out, and a little bit of the gel rubbed off and he got a bit of a burn on his arm, but it looked incredibly cool. We got big time production value. But we almost, you know, killed the two stunt guys. So we get the effects guys, (makes a noise like an extinguisher and pretends to use one) we\u2019re putting them all out, and all of a sudden we start to look over at the producers, and it was only supposed to be a little one [ meaning the explosion, I think] and now it\u2019s a gigantic one. The producers are saying, (puzzled, with a hand on top of his head) \u2018you mean we got that for free<\/em>? We got that tremendous huge burn where we almost killed the guy 10,000 feet high for like for nothing? (smiles and applauds) Yeah, thank you Mr. Shea, we\u2019re going to renew your contract for next year.\u2019 Yeah . . . was the question about burns? I just talked for an hour about burns.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Of your three jobs, which to you like best? \u201c<\/em>I sort of<\/em> like all three. Because I do like the coordinating part because you get to do your budgeting, and it\u2019s like a real job and you get to feel like a real person \u2013 (person who asked the question apparently started to walk away from the mic) where are you going? I am making you uncomfortable?\u201d The woman went back to the mic and said you\u2019re muffled from right here, but over there I can hear you better.\u201d \u201cOh yeah, good excuse. I\u2019ve heard that a lot. The last time I was invited to a party about ten years ago they said something about being muffled. (Dan turns around and the woman is gone, and he does a double take)Where\u2019d she go? Faster than a speeding bullet!\u201d After some uncalled for remarks regarding Superman that I won\u2019t even dignify by repeating, Dan managed to get back on topic. \u201cOh, yeah, I like all three. There\u2019s something about being on camera and getting beat up that\u2019s kind of cool, because you\u2019ve got the wardrobe on, and your timing has to be precise. There\u2019s something cool about planning it, but there\u2019s also something kind of cool about being an actor and hitting your mark \u2013 and when I say \u2018kinda\u2019 in my terms, that\u2019s kinda what I do. \u2018Dan, anywhere in that area, if you can hit it, that\u2019d be fine.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The woman who asked the question returned and asked, \u201cOk, then which one pays the most?\u201d \u201cWell I\u2019ve been volunteering for those guys for like 20 years. <\/span>And I\u2019m just glad they bring me back because I\u2019m so good at what I do. And it\u2019s not because they don\u2019t pay me, it\u2019s because I\u2019m really good. It\u2019s not like I\u2019m doing this and I don\u2019t have a clue, and I\u2019m doing it for nothing. They all sort of pay kind of good. The on camera stuff is good because you get residual checks sometimes, somewhere down the road when you\u2019re old and grey from when you got killed a million years ago in Outer Limits, they\u2019ll throw you something. <\/span>So they\u2019re all sorta not bad. But yeah . . . what am I doing? <\/span>Yeah so I like all three, but there were days I did all three at once. I\u2019d be Big Boy\u2019s double [Big Boy is Dan\u2019s nickname for RDA] and I\u2019d be shooting a P90 with my pinky out like this (shows us a crooked pinky finger stinking out, as if he was drinking tea). [RDA] used to bring me into his room <\/span>– no, not for that reason \u2013 and he\u2019d show me the dailies and he\u2019d freeze frame it, and when I\u2019m shooting the P90 I\u2019m like all manly, I\u2019m the big stunt guy, and then he\u2019d zoom in on that one pinky and say, \u2018I\u2019ll cut that stinking thing off if you don\u2019t stop with the pinkly!\u2019 So doubling him and doing Sly Siler or whatever is kinda cool. I like all three. Does that answer your question or do you want more? You women always want more. Fine!\u201d The poor woman said, \u2018You sound like a politician but I do like your answer. \u201c \u201cThank you very much! Carry on! Let\u2019s hear it for her!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Both Dan Shea and Dan Payne have done some work on the popular show Supernatural. From what Dan said, it sounds like he once played a demon, but once again poor Dan was not given credit for it on IMDB. Dan was asked a question about the episode, but his answer bounces around so much I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t figure out exactly what the question was! Dan starts out by talking about the eyes of the demon costume. \u201cDan Payne for this is wearing the black ones and he could actually see. He was whining that he can\u2019t see much, but I\u2019ve had both and I can\u2019t see anything. For that demon thing, you can see fairly well. But the thing about the demon thing was it was a little bit fresh. <\/span>I don\u2019t know if you guys know, but I tend to wear shorts \u2013 (notices a fan writing in the first row) Am I keeping you up? (mutters something about groceries that I couldn\u2019t make out) \u2018Got to get some grapefruit, and get some bananas, and is Minute Maid as good as real orange juice? It\u2019s orange. It\u2019s cheaper. But who\u2019s this idiot yammering on about?\u2019 Did you get the stuff yet? Don\u2019t go into the express line because you\u2019ve got more than seven items! Don\u2019t pull that c%@$ again, I know you do that all the time. Um. Sorry, carry on, just keep on doing what you\u2019re doing! And the rest of us will deal with this. It\u2019s not like they pay me 18 trillion dollars to come in here and do your grocery list. I don\u2019t mean that! I respect that! It\u2019s over, ancient! It\u2019s all great! <\/span>– Oh, eyes! So, oh, demons! Supernatural! 4:00 in the morning, wearing the shorts. Usually I\u2019m hot, I\u2019m a hot dude, right? I was not hot dude that day. It was snowing. But the thing was they sprinkle holy water on the demons \u2013 is that the deal in Supernatural? You get the water (indicates on his head) you die? (a fan confirms this for Dan). Did you ever see that? I though the worst way to die is, there\u2019s two different ways of dying \u2013 I keep going back to death, I\u2019m trying to get you guys, it\u2019s hilarious \u2013 On Omen 1, the guy goes beneath the ice, and he\u2019s hammering on the ice, and these guys are there with their hockey sticks trying to (mimes beating the ice, trying to break it) and then it\u2019s \u2018aww forget it, let\u2019s just play some\u2019. <\/span>That to me would be an awful way to die. And the fact that I\u2019m going to be doing a water gag pretty similar to that in about a week and a half, where I can\u2019t even get the regulator into my mouth because I\u2019ll have big dentures in there. They said, \u2018oh yeah, Dan will do it, no problem.\u2019 But anyways, that would be a bad way to die. The other way, there\u2019s a WWII movie where Ray Finds or Ralph Finds played 10,000 characters, and he played a fencer. In one of them he switched hands and he won a gold medal with his left hand. He\u2019s actually a righty. And then the Nazis came, and they didn\u2019t give a rat\u2019s @$$ if he was a lefty or a righty, and they threw his @$$ in a camp, and I remember they killed this guy \u2013 and this is going to hilarious \u2013 they hung him upside down, and one of the Nazis stood there hosing him down for three days until the guy died. And that\u2019s what Supernatural felt like. I had no shirt, I was standing there at 4:00 in the morning, and they just touch you like this with the water, and the first layer freezes, and that\u2019s good, right near your heart, because you know, if you\u2019re heart goes, your heart is connected to your brain, and there\u2019s a junction, there\u2019s a little gap there, and if the gap is too wide, then the synoptic impulses don\u2019t get across, then it\u2019s your @$$, darlin\u2019. So, anyways, – (points at a fan) hope you\u2019re not laughing at me. I\u2019m very disappointed. \u2013 So basically we stood there and froze out @$$#$ off for eight hours.\u201d Dan dropped the mic to his side while we figured out that that was the end of the story. Not exactly the climax we thought he was building up to!<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan is given the two minute warning, and then decides he has got to tell us an eye story. \u201c\u201dOn Stargate a million years ago, I was coordinating, and we had these guys \u2013 I forget what they\u2019re called \u2013 and they had these contacts in their eyes. And the producers were like, \u2018if these guys are like blind and they have to come through the gate, should they be stunt people?\u2019 And well, they\u2019d never asked me about stunt people before, I mean we set people on fire, and we killed them, and we shot them with squibs, and they said, \u2018shouldn\u2019t they be on extra soldiers?\u2019 So this was actually the first time where they were asking my my opinion, and I said, \u2018yeah of course. Yeah, they\u2019re blind, they can\u2019t see, they\u2019ve got the contacts, yeah, they should be stunt people.\u2019 We hire four stunt people. One was Jason \u2018Twitchy\u2019 Colter. And we actually hired someone to take them by the hand and take them through the gate so they would memorize what the steps were. And it cost us a ton of dough. Each person has their own person, each is under stunt contract, and they\u2019ve got their own room, it takes $10,000 to put the stuff on. Put the contacts in, they can see perfectly. One stunt guy is over here juggling, I guess rehearing for his next movie, for the circus bit. And another one is throwing darts and he hits the bulls eye ever single time. And the producers are kind of walking by going, \u2018got radar or something?\u2019 I told the guys, \u2018pretend like you can\u2019t see anything because they\u2019re spending thousands of dollars because I told them you couldn\u2019t see because of the contacts, so you should be stunt people.\u2019 All they have to do is walk from here to there, and so naturally Twitchy has got to put on a big show. He\u2019s walking and he\u2019s banging into stuff (walks into the stage screen), falling over craft service (pretends to trip and fall over), spilling ketchup all over the place. And then they found out and they so fired my @$$. <\/span><\/p>\n

Despite the fact that that all took about two and a half minute, Dan was allowed to take another question. It was something along the lines of, Can you tell us about any dangerous stunts you\u2019ve done?<\/em>\u201cLittle known fact. Some people claim that whenever you do a stunt, if you\u2019re doing it with a coordinator it\u2019s going to be the safest stunt of all cuz we\u2019re total cowards. And some people will claim that pads were like that far up (shows us how high from the stage floor, but I couldn\u2019t see past the heads in front of me) and they actually had to frame on the pads. In fact, I had so many pads, I actually had to fall on to <\/em>the pads because I was such a coward. But all claims are totally false. [I believe he is referring to ‘Tin Man’ here, where RoboJack jumps down about 2 stories] I fell a long way, and I actually fell right on the grate, with my tremendous athletic skill, like a cat.\u201d One of the MC\u2019s comes out and says something, to which Dan responds, \u201cWell it\u2019s going to take me like an hour to say one sentence. I mean I stop and start 80 billion times. Oh, I did the foot thing (lifts and grabs his own foot). Maybe I\u2019ll do that quickly. Richard Dean Anderson, on MacGyver, – (talking to himself as he pushes his own leg back down) put that down \u2013 went from MacGyver to do a movie in Toronto. And it was really cold, and he had his long hair and he had a beard, and the gag was that he would grab – (pretends to grab something and carry it) this is Big Boy, not that Big Boy (pointing to the sky), my Big Boy Richard Dean \u2013 and the deal was he\u2019d grab the thing of money, and something wraps around his foot and it pulls you into these gigantic textile things, and then they\u2019re supposed to cut. The problem was, the guy on the button had been drinking heavily. (Dan for some odd reason decides to put the rabbit hood back on) witnesses say he was wearing something similar to this. So it wrapped around my foot, and the gag was going to have a quick release. This time they said, \u2018Dan, can we loose the quick release? Because we have a wide shot and if there\u2019s a quick release you\u2019ll just loose it and it will fall off\u2019. So I said,(sarcastically, shrugging) \u2019oh yea sure, loose the quick release\u2019. Which meant I was actually attached to the thing. So it pulled me closer (holds up a leg at a 90 degree angle and hops with his leg sticking out ahead of him every time he says \u2018closer\u2019) and closer and closer to the rollers, and the foot got so it started cutting. Rabbit dude did not press \u2018Stop\u2019. I think he pressed \u2018Go\u2019, and so the first toe went in there, and that\u2019s why it\u2019s always sort of bent this one way. I\u2019m kidding, it\u2019s goes that way too. So, crushed the foot. I didn\u2019t have any work afterwards, so I got to use the crutch and I got that cop thing and made twice as much money for the next month. It\u2019s a lovely, lovely thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

From there, Dan went right into rambling again, picking on the guy who asked the last question \u2013 who turned out to be the guy I got stuck on stage with for David Nykl\u2019s revenge in the Cabaret! \u2013 until MC Adam grabbed a mic and interrupted, \u201cDan! Dan!\u201d \u201cYessir.\u201d \u201cSay goodnight Dick.\u201d \u201cGoodnight Dick!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Next up, everyone\u2019s favorite male <\/em>Wraith. Though he\u2019s not really a Wraith anymore, is he? Heck, we don\u2019t even know whose side he\u2019s on half the time! Sometimes I want to agree with Ronan. Michael the Wraith should have been shot from the get go, but Conner Trinneer is a pretty cool human!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I declare Dan Shea to be the King of Randomness. My notes are so crazy, I\u2019m not sure if any of this is going to make any sense! Dan has a hard time staying on topic. He gets distracted, he talks very fast, he has a bit of a lisp, and he rambles. Of course, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,8,14],"tags":[225,391,226,170,74,221,32,6115,219,220,224,223,227,6131,109],"class_list":["post-463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebs","category-stargate-franchise-news","category-stargate-vancouver-2009","tag-tin-man","tag-creation-entertainment","tag-dan-payne","tag-dan-shea","tag-macgyver","tag-psych","tag-rda","tag-richard-dean-anderson","tag-sgt-siler","tag-sly-siler","tag-stunt-coordinator","tag-stunts","tag-super-soldier","tag-supernatural","tag-vancouver-stargate-2009"],"yoast_head":"\nDan Shea: The King of Randomness - WormholeRiders News Agency<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wormholeriders.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/19\/dan-shea-the-king-of-randomness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dan Shea: The King of Randomness - WormholeRiders News Agency\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I declare Dan Shea to be the King of Randomness. My notes are so crazy, I\u2019m not sure if any of this is going to make any sense! Dan has a hard time staying on topic. He gets distracted, he talks very fast, he has a bit of a lisp, and he rambles. 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